gazing the sky: Single and (Not) Looking?!

gazing the sky

Mari sayangku! Kita bicara cinta

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Single and (Not) Looking?!

dic**: malam minggu..kemana nih??
Brad: at home lah
dic**: dapat gak nih gebetan baru??
Brad: gak
dic**: kenapa?/kurang keras berusaha sih..
Brad: hehehe.... itu selalu jadi pertanyaan wajib lo kalo ketemu gue ya
dic**: oh ya...masa sih??
Brad: yes
Brad: gpp sih, thanks for your concern
dic**: gak maksud apa-apa lho.....

Above is a conversation excerpt I had with a friend tonight. Recently people around started asking the same questions which made sick. But is it really sickening?! As human and being an image of God, we are destined to unite with another person and form a family. However there are certain people who are not married and continue living a celibate life. Still, celibacy is often perceived as an incompleteness in life. A person who is single is generally considered as having lack of confidence, too picky, or worse: homosexual. When a man reaches a certain maturity he will be expected to find a woman and marry her. As a person living in Asian cultures and values, I am expected to get married as well, therefore having heard above conversations is more frequent since I reach (censored) age. Some people have even gone further by trying to set up a date with a girl. Hehehe, I thank you guys for your concern but blind date is really not my thing. *smirk*

Back to celibacy issue. Paul (from the Bible) is a good example. Despite of his words saying that a man is destined to unite with a woman because a man is overcome by passion and a holy marriage will conceal him from ungodly deeds, Paul had a special 'gift' to overcome such temptation and living celibate. According to Paul, it is good for a man to stay unmarried and he wished that all men should be like him. However if a man cannot hold his passion then it is wise for him to marry.

Well I am still pondering over this passage and cannot have all the answers tonight. But I do know that celibacy can be a gift from God given to certain people and it will be better for him/her than getting married. It gives you a chance to depend more on God and care more on other human beings.

So.... what am I going to do?? Hehe, the best way is to keep praying until I find His answer. In the mean time: Guys, thanks for your concern but please stop asking those silly questions! Hehe. You will hear from me when the time is right. When God's time is right :D

posted by Bradley 10:43 PM

5 Comments:

At Sunday, January 22, 2006 7:24:00 PM, Anonymous said…

hi bev,

emang sih beban cowok dalam hal ini lebih ringan, dalam arti cowok gak akan ditanyain soal married kalo emang umurnya belum danger banget. Kalo seperti kamu misalnya, gue yakin sejak lulus kuliah (22-23 th) gitu udah mulai disinggung-singgung sama nyokap lo kan?! hehehe.

eh tapi gue juga berpikir sama lo bev. ada temen cewek gue (seumur) yg juga belum married sampe sekarang. kita sering ngobrolin (lebih tepatnya meratapi) nasib kita masing2, dan pernah sekali-dua kali gue mikir "Apa gak sebaiknya gue kawin ame die aje yee" *gelooooo*
At Monday, January 23, 2006 7:05:00 PM, Anonymous said…

alo buradori, salam kenal juga ya :D
yah begitulah hidup. setelah lulus kuliah ditanya kpn kerja, setelah kerja kpn nikah, setelah nikah kpn punya anak. those kind of questions happen to everyone.

mungkin harus siapin jawaban utk pertanyaan2 di atas yg bisa bikin bungkem penanyanya ;)

jodoh di tangan Tuhan, mungkin jodohmu sedang mencari2 kamu juga dan menunggu waktu dipertemukan dgnmu :)

++retno/rwidiani@blogspot
At Monday, January 23, 2006 9:16:00 PM, L. Pralangga said…

Thanks for stopping by the other day, surely you got a nice house (blog) here :) - at times, relatives up to close colleagues are often come up with such questions, surely they are concerned about you but have less or no idea which and how to ask..so they come up with stuff people normally ask :)

Perhaps, it would be nice to understand them a bit, or the best thing is just to fly them a smile :)

May this shout from across the ocean finds you well and keep walking.. as you might bump-in to someone you meant to be at that corner..

Kind regards from West Africa :)
At Tuesday, January 24, 2006 3:55:00 PM, IndigoDeviLLe said…

Well, our society always have their ways to make you feel incomplete.
Sometimes I wonder, do they ask those questions out of concern or courtesy only? I am bombarded with those questions all the time. Previously I always avoided by saying: "Just wait for the right time!", but this year (yeah, defintely during Chinese New Year this weekend), I'm gonna say to them all: At the moment, I have no intention of getting married! If they still insist, I'll ask: Is that a problem to you?
At Thursday, February 02, 2006 1:12:00 PM, Anonymous said…

wah dah lama saya gak main2 ke blog orang...inget ama bang bradley saya buka lagi deh..postingannya bagus...sama apa yang saya pikirkan...ha3x...